KIXI Radio Interview | Insights Into Helping People Through Tragedy on Chat With Women

Kacee shares her personal experience of loss and grief on Seattle’s KIXI Radio Station.  Insights into helping someone through tragedy.

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For a request of Book Proposal or interview  see the ABOUT page or contact KaceeBree@gmail.com


Raw Transcript:
Interviewer: So, which is fantastic. So, share some of your insights
with us on the book.

Kacee: Wow. Yeah, I definitely think that I did it all the wrong ways.

Interviewer: Did you drink a lot?

Kacee: Well, I’m not quite the drinker, but I definitely got a good
addiction to coffee that I just kind of dealt with it through being
awake all the time . . .

Interviewer: That’s it; coffee?

Kacee: . . . and watching reality T.V. constantly.

Interviewer: Oh, okay. So you became addicted to that?

Interviewer: There’s a difference between 30 and 60. Hello.

Interviewer: [inaudible:00:00:31].

Interviewer: Give me my vodka.

Kacee: Give me my housewives, baby.

Interviewer: So, you had, it was coffee and reality T.V.

Kacee: Yeah.

Interviewer: So, you just . . . What you do is you . . .

Kacee: Checking out, checking out; exactly.

Interviewer: You checked out, right.

Kacee: Exactly, and so you know, there are people in my life,
particularly my husband, who I started dating a month after my mom
died, got married a year after, and then I had our first child just
two years after. So, I basically just coped with trying to get through
life. You know? I’m just going to make things happen. I’m going to act
like nothing happened.

Interviewer: Right.

Kacee: So, thank God for my husband trying to be like, “Are you okay?
Are you okay?” But, I’d be like, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.” So,
I’d have these crazy breakdowns. I mean, we all have breakdowns.

Interviewer: Sure.

Kacee: But to the point where watching a movie and all of a sudden,
you know . . . It could be a comedy, and I’m hysterically crying and
actually even throwing up at times.

Interviewer: Oh, my.

Interviewer: Yeah.

Kacee: Just because I needed to get it out so bad. So, even after
that, I still didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t until I was
actually leading, because I’d been doing a lot of leadership support
groups and things like that. I was leading a group for young people,
and actually 12 of those young people had lost somebody in one year.

Interviewer: Oh, my.

Kacee: Whether a parent . . . It was a really crazy time where I met a
lot of people that were going through huge issues. I did it with my
mother-in-law, who’s a counselor. She, thank God, took the lead
because all of a sudden, I’m just realizing I’m not okay. This was
probably four years after my mom passed. I’m just kind of staring at
this worksheet that was the mourner’s . . . You know, basically it’s
okay to grieve; the Mourner’s Bill of Rights of Grieving for Dummies,
of all things.

Interviewer: Okay.

Kacee: And I’m like, “Oh, it’s okay that I’m not strong. It’s okay
that I want to flip out on everyone. It’s okay that I’m not okay”,
basically, and that’s really what’s inspired me to help young people
specifically who haven’t really known how to confront the things that
they’re going through, kind of face the issues, and be okay with not
being okay.

Interviewer: So, what do you do though?

Interviewer: Right.

Interviewer: I mean, do you . . .

Interviewer: What advice do you give these young people?

Interviewer: Yeah.

Kacee: Yeah.

Interviewer: Because you’re not going to, you know. . . Drinking coffee
is not a horrible thing. No, watching reality T.V.

Interviewer: But . . .

Kacee: Yes.

Interviewer: Checking out is not a good thing.

Kacee: Right, and most young people honestly will go to drugs and

Interviewer: [inaudible:00:02:57].

Kacee: And really get into a huge depression.

Interviewer: Right.

Kacee: We hear a lot of . . . Unfortunately suicide happens a lot.

Interviewer: Yes.

Kacee: Because people get stuck in their circumstance.

Interviewer: But they’re lost also.

Kacee: They’re lost, totally. Especially at a young age, you don’t
even know who you are yet.

Interviewer: Right.

Kacee: And then to have something significant . . . So, my advice is
really, for someone to help someone get through it, is to just be
there. I mean, physically, emotionally. You can’t really pull
something out of a young person or anyone really. You can’t be like,
“Talk to me; talk to me; talk to me,” but you can just go to their
favorite movie. You can go, you know . . .

Interviewer: Go places with them.

Kacee: Go places with them. Older, go to the bar with them. Younger,
go to coffee with them. Go to ice cream for the middle schooler.

Interviewer: Just be a friend and be there.

Kacee: Be a friend because eventually if you’re just like, “Hey, are
you okay?” Instead of like, “Talk to me; talk to me. Hey, are you okay
today?” “I’m fine.” “Okay, well tomorrow I’m going to ask you again.”
You know? And eventually they’re going to start talking to you because
getting it out is number one. I put a lot of resources on my website,
Hopeinthehardtimes.com. I put a special blog post for all the
listeners that can go to specific resources that are out there to
actually get help, whether it’s counseling, whether it’s going to
support groups. All those things are amazing for anyone at any age.
But as far as just what can I do to help someone through this, just be
present. The other thing is that, you know, I didn’t really start to
deal with things, or maybe it didn’t completely hit me until maybe six
months down the road, and then maybe a year, and then it really got
hard about two years later. People forget that we’ve gone through
something. People easily think, “Okay. It’s been six months. It’s been
a year.”

Interviewer: Get over it.

Kacee: You know, you’re fine now; right?

Interviewer: Well . . .

Kacee: Yeah.

Interviewer: Let’s be honest. In the United States, the way our world
is set up, we’re not allowed to really grieve. It’s not like you get
to say, “I’ve lost a parent,” or whatever you’ve lost, “I need to take
a month off work.” They look at you like a hole in your head.

Kacee: Right.

Interviewer: So, you’re taught from a young age that you have to just
get over it.

Kacee: Right. So true…

Interviewer: Because you have to move through it, and you’re not
allowed to grieve at all.

Kacee: Yeah, and especially with young people, you know, parents
listening and teachers that are listening and everyone. I just beg
them to let people take the time, because that’s such a valid point
that you just made. I had a girl that I was helping out just through
life circumstances. She just needed someone in her life. So, I was
leading her through some stuff, and she actually ended up coming home
from school one night and found her mom dead in her bedroom. So,
instead of dealing with it with the school and all that, she was
actually the next Monday back in school, and some of her teachers
didn’t even know what had happened. She was taking tests, and she was
. . . It wasn’t until family came in and said, “Hey, this girl is not
okay.” So, I think we just really need to pay attention to even body
language of young people and just being in their lives, knowing what’s
going on, and taking the time and allowing people to take the time.

Interviewer: Well, you’re going to notice a difference. They’re going
to be quieter. They’re not going to give you eye contact.

Kacee: Right.

Interviewer: You know? As a teacher or a friend or a relative, you’re
going to know there’s something, if you’re paying attention.

Kacee: Right. Right.

Interviewer: And I think the point is that you made, Kacee, is that
standing by somebody, just being there can become their rock so that
they can in fact turn and know it’s a comfort space to be with that

Kacee: Right, so true.

Interviewer: So, I think that’s so important. So tell us again about
Hope in the Hard Times. What will we find when we go there?

Kacee: Yeah, so Kaceebree.com, but also you can go to Hope in the Hard
Times. It goes to the same place. What it is, is basically an outlet
for young adults, college students, any age to find maybe something
they’re going through and see that others are going through it. So,
they’re webisodes and blogs about people that have faced a huge
situation in their lives, and they’ve made it through on the other
side, you know. The things we go through do change us for sure, but I
just say this is your make it moment, not your break it moment.

Interviewer: Love that, and I will say . . .

Interviewer: Wonderful.

Interviewer: It’s not just for young adults.

Kacee: Right.

Interviewer: I happen to be on the site and was checking it out. It’s a
marvelous site.

Kacee: Thank you.

Interviewer: I think it’s got a lot of compassion, and I think during
this time when you are going . . . when you are lost, I think it’s a
wonderful place to go because there’s a tremendous amount of comfort
that you receive by being there.

Kacee: Thank you very much.

Interviewer: So, Kacee, we honor you. We thank you for joining us and
thank you for what you’re doing. We want our listeners again to know.
It’s Kaceebree.com, and that’s spelled KaceeBree.com.

Interviewer 2: The website you want to send people to again?

Kacee: Yes. It’s Kaceebree.com, but the easiest to remember because my
name is spelled a little different is Hopeinthehardtimes.com.

Interviewer 2: Okay.

Kacee: I’m on all the social medias as @KaceeBree.

Interviewer 2: Great. Wonderful; thank you for joining us. You are
listening to Chat With Women on AM 880 KIXI. Let’s take a break. When
we come back, let’s talk about how we can maybe change some things in
our home, decorate for spring.




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