Divorce – Painful For Any Child

Mckayla shares her personal story of finding out her parents were getting a divorce. Going through any kind of loss or change can cause grief. we talk about what it’s like to experience this big moment.

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Raw Transcript:

Kacee: Hey guys it Kacee, today we’re talking about being a child of
divorce. This is something that is happening to so many people out there.
Divorce is become such a common thing and, I think a lot of times people
figure, “Hey they’re in High School they can handle it.” But really it’s
like grieving when a parent gets divorced, you go through a lose. So today
we’re going to hear from Mikhaila and what it was like when her parents got
a divorce.

Hey everyone today we’re talking on the topic of divorce. parents
goes through divorce, what it feels like, how it shapes us, how we
experience it. So I’m here with my friend Mikhaila, who I’ve known for a
very, very long time. And I remember you telling me that this went on, and
it seemed like it was a little bit of a shock to hear that your parents
were getting a divorce. So you were a Sophomore in High School. Can you
share how that felt, was it unexpected, what went on?

Mckayla: Yeah, so my dad sent me a text randomly one time, right after
Christmas. He was like, “What are you doing?”

I was like, “I’m sitting in my room.”

Okay, “Well later tonight we need to have a family meeting.” And my
heart …

Kacee: Did you guys usually have family meetings, or where you like,
oh my gosh a family meeting?

Mckayla: Well when we were like, family meeting, my dad was always
kidding, like something stupid. So when he texted me, I was like, this is
really odd. So my brother came home later that night, and we went into my
parents room. I was just sitting there, and I knew something wasn’t right.
They were beating around the bush, so I was like, could you just tell us.
Then they said, I think we’re getting a divorce. And just this flood of
emotions, like I had no idea, what were people going to think, who was I
going to live with, what was going to happen.

Kacee: Basically your world was about to change, and you didn’t know
what it was going to look like?

Mckayla: I was in the middle of High School. I was like, “Oh my gosh,
people go crazy when this happens to them, and now it’s happening to me,
out of all the families, me.”

Kacee: And I think like, my parents are getting divorced versus my mom
died, or my dad died. When you say that, people kind of just, “Oh your
parents are getting divorced.” It becomes like a part of life for us. But
it is a lot, and you do have to go through that grieving process. Did you
feel like you, felt like you went through a loss and grief?

Mckayla: Definitely because, I would come home from school and my mom
would like, “Hey mom when you going to be home from work?”

And then two weeks after I find out that my parents are getting
divorced, I come home and I realize that my mom doesn’t even live with me
anymore. I saw my mom probably once a month since then, it’s like “Wow, I’m
16 years old and I don’t see my mom every day.”

Kacee: Yeah, that’s hard. What kind of emotions did you go through,
what were you thinking just on a daily basis?

Mckayla: I was mad, I was so confused, I didn’t understand how that they
could even do it. How could they just not got to counseling, how could they
not just fix it. Everyone says I’ll never get a divorce, I’m just going to
work on my problems. Why couldn’t they do that? And I was mad, I was angry.

Kacee: Do you still feel that, it’s been two and a half years, right?
Something like that?

Mckayla: It gets better, thankfully. I really thought it was going to
weigh on me the rest of my life. But just with time, and understanding the
situation more, and being older, you realize that life goes on. I really do
feel better about it. And I do forgive both my mom and dad for it.

Kacee: Thank you so much for sharing your story. And if you guys have
a story of your parents going through divorce, or you’re going through
something, I’m sure Mikhaila would love to chat on the website with you. So
stay tuned, and I’m so thankful that you’re hanging out with us.

Tia: When life throws us blows, we get so consumed with the issue that we
lose sight of who we are and who we said we wanted to be. It gets harder
and harder to feel good about ourselves and get up in the morning and dress
ourselves. This can lend us to getting stuck in the mud, and even
depressed. Every day it may seem really hard, but get yourself up.

Choose something that’s going to make you feel happy or really good
about yourself. Even though when you start your day, you don’t feel good
about yourself at all. These little things can contribute to best mood in
the end. Colors effect your mood as well as fabric. So if you feel as if
you’re wearing a lot of black, and you want to be cheerful, go for
something a little bit more cheerful, yellow never hurt anybody.

Kacee: I want to thank Mikhaila because it was such a huge thing for
her to share her story. When all of us are going through different things,
she decided that she want to speak out and hopefully help all of you that
possibly are going through their parents getting divorced.

The one thing I would say about this is, that so often people just go
back into their regular routine. They find out one night that their parents
are getting a divorce, the mom leaves, the dad leaves, whatever it is. Then
the next morning they’re in classes and, people don’t even know what’s
going on in their lives. It’s just like, just go on it’s another day. But I
know to the person, the child that it happened to, it’s not just another
day. They are broken inside, they’re hurting, there’s a lot of questions
that really the parents are not even able to answer.

So I want to encourage anyone out there that’s going through that, to
start talking about it. Find someone you can share your feelings with, I
know, share your feelings. But really, you don’t want to become a jaded
person and you don’t want to get stuck in thinking that your relationship
is going to be the same. You don’t have to be like your parents, you can
have a healthy relationship after your parents get a divorce. So I want to
hear from you on the message board, where ever you can post and we look
forward to seeing you next week.

 

16 Comments

  1. good website says:

    Hi! I just want to offer you a huge thumbs up for the great information you’ve got here on this post. I’ll be coming back to your site for more soon.

  2. I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thank you, I will try and check back more often. How frequently you update your website?

    • Kacee Bree Jensen says:

      Thank you! I post videos every Monday and post at least one other time per week. You can subscribe if you would like to not miss a post. 🙂

  3. Zara says:

    Hey, i just watched this video and it really helped a lot because im actually going through a really unexpected divorce and it really does hurt on the inside and i feel as though i have no one and i blame both my parents for taking this harsh decision but at the same time i cant say anything to them because then i would feel as though i am prohibiting them from their one shot of happiness and for that it feels like a great relief knowing im not alone on this journey and knowing that it will eventually have a happy ending. Thank you so much <3

    • Kacee Bree Jensen says:

      Thank you Zara for commenting. I am so sorry you are going through this!!! I am hoping for the best for you!

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